I Can't Dance

I created this page over three years ago.  It's intended purpose was to share my journey, as an older student of Jiu Jitsu.  In some ways I accomplished that goal, however in other ways I failed. It really boils down to effort and time, very much like Jiu-Jitsu...  Yet every day is a new day and today will be no different.  So with that in mind, today is a reboot of my blog.

My reboot will remain Jiu Jitsu.  But it will also incorporate other facets of my life as well.  Things that interest me, stories about me and events which shaped me.  All with the one goal of lifting up others and helping others see the good in themselves.  In addition, I really want to encourage feedback.  I'm not looking for atta boys, likes or anything to stroke the ego.  I'm wanting feedback because I want to learn from you...the reader.  However I would ask that your feedback be respectful and give others pause to think...including me. Feedback that makes us all winners in one way or another.  S…

Come Join Us

In recent weeks I’ve heard a phrase being communicated in a variety of ways, from a diverse group of people, holding varying belief structures.So, I wanted to address what I’ve been hearing and offer my own perspective.My hope is bridging a gap of understanding and hopefully changing a perspective.Even if it’s just a little.
So, what is it that I’ve heard lately?Well it’s goes something like this… “that’s why I don’t attend church, because its already filled with hypocrites” or “the church is filled with hypocrites” or some other variation, which incorporates the word hypocrite and church.
Therefore, let me begin by letting out a not so big a secret…you’re right.They church is filled with hypocrites and that’s where they belong.It has it's share of adulterers, drunkards, gossipers as the bible plainly calls it. Or people who have hate, overtly critical or suffer from addictions (sexual or substance).It's is also filled with greedy people, who either run a church or attend chu…

My First Fathers Day

Fathers Day.  I dare say for most men, is a nice thought in which we celebrate but with minimal fan fare.  Yes we appreciate the loving adoration from our spouse and children.  But at the end of the day, we just view it as another day in "the life of" being a father.  For me personally, that's how I typically view fathers day.  Except for the fact there is one Fathers Day I got to celebrate before I officially became a father.It all started around the turn of the 21st century.  Rhonda and I had been barely married two years.  Both of us were gainfully employed and I was also working to complete my education at The University of Tulsa.    Graduation was fast approaching and discussions of children began to fill the air.  Looking past graduation, we prioritized planning for children.  Therefore, after much discussion, we consciously made the choice to start the process of "getting pregnant."   We wanted to time the event of a child birth, close after my graduatio…


Complacency is an easy trap to fall into and really doesn’t require much effort.  It’s a subtle condition that steals our motivation one decision at a time.  Here of late I allowed myself to be robbed. Robbed of overall health and more importantly my Jiu Jitsu journey.
Complacency starts with one poor decision.  You know the kind.  A cookie isn’t going to amount to anything or I don’t feel like training tonight.  And I’m guilty as charged.   However, it’s worse when it becomes habit forming.  And I admit it.  The muscle memory for complacency has reached new heights for me.
Now here is the excuse, right or wrong, it is the reality.  Here of late, my personal life has been in a turmoil.  Not a turmoil in a bad way, just more about shifting priorities.  Priorities such as sick kids, late days at the office or other event’s which have distracted me from what is important.  The distractions, while legitimate should not excuse eating poorly or training less.  I’ve allowed the distractions to…

I'm a failure

I’m a failure! Oh, how many times I’ve uttered those words inside my head, still to this day.And yet despite all my success…such as a great marriage and family, Cum Laude Graduate of The University of Tulsa, great job with a great company, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu blue belt…I still utter these words in my head.
I often wonder why I take such a harsh outlook on myself and why I continue to use these words even today.Maybe it’s still tied to a failed marriage, jobs or a whole list of other events which continue to remind me of my imperfection.Or maybe it’s because I continue to compare myself to others, without truly knowing the real story.
The simple fact of the matter is we all fail, at some point in our life.However, we should not let it define us.We should stop hitting the rewind button on our lives and reliving those failures.

For me personally I frequently find myself getting up off of the couch called life and hitting that rewind button on the VHS tape playing the movie called "…

My Identity

The evening of November 29, 2017 was like most typical evenings.  Rush home from work and get my kids to Jiu-Jitsu.  And it being a Wednesday, I also had to fulfill my commitments of coaching the little kids.  But once kids class was over, it was my time.  Time for some adult therapy on the mats.  At the conclusion of class, it was time for the usual fan fare.  Our professor orating the upcoming events, mini-sermons and recognizing others accomplishments...but before I complete the rest of the story, climb aboard my Tartus and take a trip back into time with me.  Into my world before Jiu Jitsu.

My childhood was not optimal, as was the case for a lot of other people.  Without delving into a laundry list of pains, my life around me was filled with alcohol, drugs, poverty, abuse, single parenthood and mental illness.   In addition was the constant bouncing around to new schools, places to live and new states as home.  Finally a small sense of normalcy began to set in as I came to rest in…

My Jiu Jitsu Sucks

My Jiu Jitsu SUCKS.  There I said it. That no matter how hard I try, I just can't accomplish what I'm striving for in the world of Jiu Jitsu.  That I'm constantly being beat down by little guys, big guys, females, teenagers and any other living creature that wears a gi and belt.   That in spite of how hard I work, I can't ever see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.  And when I do, it's once again a freight train of beat down leaving me with my head slumped over in shame.

In all honesty, most of what I previously described is true and quite frequently my Jiu Jitsu sucks but not all of the time.  However, so does everyone else to varying degrees.  That even though you have a certain skill set and belt rank, there is always room for improving ones Jiu Jitsu.  But maybe suck is to harsh.  Maybe it's better to say My Jiu Jitsu is lacking.

Now I believe lacking in Jiu Jitsu is a good thing.  Because it really does bring more opportunity for additional le…